So obviously these are not my kids...but my flight home from SLC would have been better if they were. For one thing, they look old enough to bribe them into good behavior, for another, they are securely stowed in the overhead bin...
WHY didn't I think of that?
I flew with both kids BY MYSELF...a basic death sentence to any mother, but the trip to SLC wasn't so bad...it was the trip back.
The Pre-Flight:
For starters, Jack fell asleep in the car on the way to the airport and... wait for it, WET HIS PANTS. Just a little, but enough to cause a problem. I had already checked our luggage at the curb before I even woke Jack up so we didn't have extra clothes...I had diapers for Marian but that did us no good. Apparently no one in the airport sells kids pants...my kid couldn't have bee the first traveler in the SLC airport to wet his pants. Luckily it was just a little but all I could do was stuff his pants with paper towels...poor kid.
The 1st 2 hours were suvivable, Jack watched movies on the ipod for about 5 minutes..then was done, but looking out the window and asking if we were going down kept him pretty occupied. Marian was happy sucking on her ring pop (and rubbing it on my clothes) and putting koosh balls in and out of the empty tissue box I brought (genius airplane toy)
The 3rd hour---the beginning of the end:
Jack announces that wants to get OFF THE PLANE! Marian wants to sleep...at least subconsciously...but won't. I've used EVERYTHING IN THE BAGS ( there were lots and lots of things) to entertain the kids but I'm maintaining my "I can do this" attitude... barely.
The 4th hour...the tears begin to flow...and they are not Jack's and not Marian's! Jack was throwing a full blown tantrum in the seat next to me and was kicking the seat in front of him. The Paris Hilton wannabe (seriously, she had a little dog with her under the seat) in front of him was not at all understanding...if looks could kill, I would have been dead by then. To keep Jack from kicking the seat I put him in my seat since no one was in front of me. That left nothing between Jack and the aisle..so of course he ran for it! Straight towards the cockpit (with no shoes on of course, he'd thrown those already). Do Air Marshalls view 3 year olds as serious threats? I dragged Jack back through 1st class, back to our row, behind Miss Hilton and pray that the flight will be over. No, Jack starts hitting ME, Marian continues to scream (as she had been for the precvious 30 minutes). What's a mother to do? Seriously! Talk about stuck!
Luckily there were about 3 families on the plane that we knew...one of them was right behind us and sweet Heather Brown starting passing up toys for Jack (which he threw ) but then he realized he could turn around and talk to Heather and Bean for entertainment...THANK YOU HEATHER!
My good friend Nadia was on the flight with her little girl and she offered to switch babies (you can't get mad at someone elses baby) and they girls seemed to like the change of scenery...for a while. And then...we landed!
FINALLY! The highlight of the flight was watching Jack try to pop his ears as we landed. I couldn't get him to plug his nose and blow...he would just plug his nose and sniff. It was pretty funny.
p.s. Dear family in SLC, I love you a lot, but I have no intention of flying with my kids again so you'll have to come see us! At least for now!
