4 weeks down (literally) and 12 (hopefully) to go till these babies have reached full term.
I keep getting lots of questions about how bed rest is going so here are my answers:
THE GOOD:
I have so many "Angels" that come in and help us with the kids, cleaning, and meals on a daily basis...that's another post all by itself. The outpouring of love is overwhelming
It's working. I've been to the Dr. twice since being put on bed rest and our prospects are really good!
It has given me time/forced me to reflect on what kind of wife and mother I really want to be. And what really matters
I am getting lots of things done I NEVER would have otherwise
I miss family Sunday dinners (but I do appreciate the plates of food Chad comes home with)
- read Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (for the second time)
- read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Fun read but I am not a fan of the Tiger mother mentality)
- stitched 100's of stitches in a cross stitch- pictures coming soon. It's pretty awesome
- made 2 scrapbooks
- read more blog posts than I care to mention (was I the only person who didn't know about Nienie dialogues?)
- learned all about aeronautic history playing Geo-Safari with Jack
- watched just about every Mormon Message video (they are awesome...you can watch them here)
- researched every baby name we are considering...multiple times
- shopped for my dream nursery bedding and decor on-line at Pottery Barn Kids. I haven't ordered anything...yet.
- praised Amazon prime daily. Free shipping..love it. Free streaming of Downton Abbey...life saver!
- decorated my living room, kitchen, and family room...in my head...several times. It has become clear that I need to bring in a professional to help me pull it all together
- mastered the easy level of Sudoku
- played kids Bingo in bed with Lucy and Marian about 100 times
THE BAD:
Chad has to be Mr. Breadwinner by day and Mr. Mom by night...and late night...and early morning (it's not bad because he's bad at it...but because that is a lot for just one person to do). Single parents...HOW DO YOU DO IT?
I miss being the mom and doing the mom stuff like baths, walks, back to school night, pick up and drop offs at school, and running errands. Boring stuff like that. I really miss it.
I am no longer the supreme commander of our home. That means that grocery shopping is done at Wal-mart (sigh), Lucy and Marian often take creative liberties in their clothing choices, kids aren't always super crisp and clean for church Sunday mornings, and Oreos, corn-dogs, and Mac n Cheese are now staples on weekends.
I miss feeling useful. I know growing these babies is the most important thing for me to do...and no one else can do it. But I do feel a bit like the concubine in Pearl S. Buck's "The Good Earth" big lady, lounging around the house all day, demanding to be fed and cared for...while denying other people their personal needs...yep! That's me.
I feel like my muscles are going into atrophy. Some days I feel like I can see the pregnancy chub taking over any muscle mass I may have had right before my eyes.
I miss family Sunday dinners (but I do appreciate the plates of food Chad comes home with)
I miss being able to use my body! I fantasize about dancing in the kitchen, walking down the street, exercising, picking up my kids (not so much Jack...he's huge), and riding a bike. Oh, jumping on a tramp sounds about like Disney Land to me right now. Ok not while I'm 6 months pregnant with twins but you know what I mean.
I miss homemaking. Don't laugh, but I miss being able to clean the kitchen and straighten things up before bed. I never was a super tidy homemaker...but in my bed rest mind...I sure would be if I had the chance. But don't count on it until a solid year after the twins are born!
THE UGLY:
Kids cry for me and I can't go to them. They cry when they need help, when they're hurt, and when they're scared at night. It really is the worst to have to just lay there. I often think of the part in the Christmas Carol where the ghost of Marley is tortured by seeing other people in need but he no longer has the ability to help them. Such a desperate feeling.
Kids are smart and know that they can get away with more around me. I need to come up with better from-the-bed disciplining because the Jack vs. Marian fights are getting OUT of CONTROL. The fact that my kids have never been shy around or intimidated by other adults doesn't do me any favors either.
Even though I feel a great deal of peace and optimism in regards to this pregnancy...always in the back of my mind is this fear that this will all be for naught...or that this is just the beginning of this trial. I know need to push those fears and doubts out of my mind, and I will work on that.
Good news is, my schedule is pretty open tomorrow (and the next day and the next....) so I've got time!
