If I could have a manual to refer to on how to successfully navigate all the ins and outs of mothering these 5 wonderful and wonderfully exhausting children..that would be awesome. Sometimes I feel like I totally relate to the Old Woman in the Shoe! If only a bit of broth, bread and a kiss before bed did the trick. Although there is a lot of wisdom in that now that I think of it. Feed them, give them a little love and affection and then send them to bed. Not a terrible strategy but I need more guidance.
There have definitely been bits of wisdom and good advice that I have gleaned from watching and learning from amazing mothers and I've decided it would be helpful to me if I compiled that wisdom in a list. This is by no means a comprehensive list and it is most definitely not a list of things I always do. Rather a list of things I have done from time to time that ALWAYS gives positive results. My own "How to raise 5 Pughs" manual if you will.
Here it is:
- Sit down and read to my kids. Reading to them in their bed is the best for some reason.
- Do crafts with my kids. Lucy's favorite thing to do with me is color!
- Play games with my kids (Jack is in love with Stratego right now. Marian loves Farkle, Lucy is always good for a game of UNO and the babies love a round or 2 (or 200) of hide and seek
- Lunch dates. Magic has happened when I've taken Jack, Marian, and Lucy on a 1 on 1 lunch date. Corner Bakery has been our restaurant of choice.
- Tell 3 things I loved about them during the day. Jack is in love with this little ritual and it guarantees we end the night on a happy and positive note! Plus I'm pretty sure I'm always low on the positive to negative comments ratio so this is a good reminder to me to look for the good and mention it!
- Pull out my charm necklace with all the kids names on it (I'm usually wearing it) and go through the names and kiss the charm with the name of the child in my lap.
- Love you beads! Marian has a few bead necklaces and bracelets and occasionally I'll sit her down on my lap and go through the beads saying one thing I love about her on every bead. This also works great using their fingers instead of beads.
- 1-2-3 Magic! Best parenting book for me. When I really follow it I am SO much better at keeping my cool. Less talk, more action!
- A hug and a kiss and an I love you! My Grandma Jean started this tradition and my kids love it! I notice my kids seem to melt into my arms when I remember to do this before they leave or when they come home.
- Write them notes! Marian and Lucy write Chad and I several notes every week...clearly a way they show love! They get so excited when we write them back. Even though Jack isn't much of a note writer...I found out last week that he keeps ALL the notes I write him so I think it's safe to say he likes getting them too.
- Pray with my kids and listen to them pray before bed.
- Rub their backs. My kids get so calm when I do this so heaven knows why I don't do it all the time!
- Prepare my kids for events and expectations. Things seem to go much more smoothly when I let my kids know what we are doing and what it expected of them. Even short car rides to Grandma's house can be disastrous if I don't remind them not to fight, yell, or scream at each other during the epic 15 minute drive.
- Have dinner early...like 5:00 or 5:30. Then there is time afterward for the bonding bedtime routines. Otherwise 8:00 hits, no one is in bed and getting everyone into bed as fast as possible is the only thing on my mind!
- More screen time usually leads to a major melt down when the screen is turned off. For some reason with my kids it's like trading what I want most (cheerful happy kids) for what I want at the moment (peace and quiet). I rarely regret taking a few minutes to get them interested in something else...or better yet spending a few minutes with them myself! Someone once told me, if you give your kids 15 minutes of attention, they will give you an hour of independent play!
I'm sure I will add to and change this list many times. But it already feels good to have it as a reference for the next time I feel totally overwhelmed. You know...like tomorrow!
